Do You Like, Link, or Tweet?

As I sit to write this post, there are still only three main social media outlets: LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter. Chances are, before this goes live, a fourth network I haven’t discovered yet will burst onto the scene. But… let’s just focus on the three current biggest for this informal – but incredibly accurate – personality test. Are you ready?

This test has only one question:

Which of the three main social networks do you prefer? (Not which do you spend a lot of time on, but where do you feel most at ease, or even in your element?)

LinkedIn

If you’re most at home on LinkedIn, chances are you’re all business in your personal life, as well as in your online life.

1. Do you wear a suit and tie to the beach?
2. Do you start cocktail party conversations with, “Do I know you? Prove it.”
3. Do you hand out your resume on first dates, and expect your date to do the same?

If you said yes to any of these questions, you’re a LinkedIn junkie. I think they may make medicine for this – the same stuff that’s sure to treat your inexplicable (but undeniable!) urge to sort and stack the Dixie cups by color at your daughter’s fourth birthday party. (Should the colors alternate, or is it better to keep the colors from mixing? Better check on that, quickly!)

Facebook

Thank God for the world’s largest never ending high school reunion! Before the Book of Faces came along, how did you ever keep tabs on the political views of the people you lost touch with 20 years ago? How did you tell your friends (all 429 of them) what laundry detergent to buy before that thumbs-up “Like-y” thing entered your life? And what on Earth did you ever do at work for all those hours each day? Fortunately, all that pre-Facebook stuff is just a distant, nasty dream. Forget all about it and go water your virtual crops.

Is Facebook your natural environment? If you answered in the affirmative, look no further: you’ve died and been reborn in Heaven (TM 2003, Mark Zuckerberg). If any of the following describes you, you’re a Facebooker through and through:

1. Pictures? Of strangers?? Lemme at ‘em!!
2. You can easily give your spouse minute-by-minute updates of every detail of his/her friends’ lives. Indeed, you often do.
3. You’ve gotten so adept at “liking” brands you can do it under the table at meetings without even glancing down at your phone.

Thank God for the world’s largest never ending high school reunion!

Unfortunately, unlike LinkedIn, an effective treatment for this affliction hasn’t been developed yet. Even a lobotomy, which held so much promise at first, has proven to make this condition worse, not better. Some day, folks. Some day.

Twitter

Would you rather have your real-life social interactions in short bursts, rather than in-depth conversations? Do you prefer the concept of humanity to the actual practice of real people? Do you get nervous if you go more than 30 seconds without reading a new link? If you answered yes to any of these questions, Twitter may be for you. Here are a few more ways you know you’re a natural-born Twit:

1. TV commercials are too long to hold your attention.
2. You learned about your town’s power outage from a follower in Ukraine… three seconds before your home lost power.
3. If it can’t be said in 140 characters, it ain’t worth saying. Or reading. Or – SQUIRREL!

This dog prefers Twitter (much like the author of this post):

Another way this test should help you figure out if Twitter is the medium for you: You clicked the link and read half of the first paragraph, then retweeted this post to your network without getting any farther in.

Are you a Liker, a Linker, or a Tweeter? Or is there some other social medium that has engaged you heart and soul? Share your perspective in the comments. Your “esteemed colleagues”, “friends” and “followers” would love to hear from you!

For more posts in which Ted compares himself to a Labrador Retriever, check out Ted’s Twitter Follow-back Policy.