Pages Menu
TwitterRss
Categories Menu

Posted by on May 30, 2012 in Inspirational, Leadership | 7 comments

The Apologetic Leader

Is it a sign of weakness when a leader apologizes?

It’s a question that’s come up quite a bit lately in conversations I’ve had with managers. Certainly enough has happened in all business sizes since 2008 that would warrant a thoughtful consideration to the question. In my conversations with managers, the question is met with hesitancy: an eager “I don’t want to go there” response.

Let’s add a little context.

In the times leading up to and after the Great Recession, managers had to make unpopular decisions. Those tough decisions were necessary to ensure the business was positioned to continue to deliver on its promise to keep employees employed, customers happy, and shareholders smiling. In many cases, those decisions came down to managing risks: protect profit or people. The familiar answer? Protect profit.

The unintended consequence in the conundrum is a crappy work environment. To protect profit, employees had to be fired. Expenses were, and still are, brutally managed. Endless fire drills that communicated confusion instead of a cogent strategy forward still dominate meetings and employees’ work load and attention.

So, when tough decisions are made out of survival should a manager apologize for the crappy work environment? One could argue that the crappy work environment already existed and merely exacerbated by the presenting problem. It would be easy to assume a position, dig in the heels and answer “No!”

If we are to learn anything from the last 4 years, I’d hope it is this: we can’t keep treating people like replaceable units on a factory line.

Despite the logic and necessity for the dramatic changes, cuts, even directives, when we make a mess of things we apologize and move on. It’s not about power. It’s about respect. It’s an acknowledgement that those tough decisions made life hell for everyone. It’s a clear signal of “I get it.” It’s seeing employees as people with lives outside of work.

We can’t conveniently overlook the outcomes of our management decisions when it’s uncomfortable. That’s so 2008. An apology followed by actions that signal it’s time to get on with rebuilding, repairing, and growing the business is worth the risk. People are worth it.

Graphic by Shawn Murphy

Shawn Murphy (104 Posts)

Change Leader | Speaker | Writer Owner and principal consultant at Achieved Strategies. Co-founder of Switch and Shift. Passionately explores the space where business & humanity intersect. Promoter of workplace optimism. Believes work can be a source of joy. Top ranked on Huffington Post and HR Examiner.


468 ad
  • http://gravatar.com/steveborek Steve Borek

    Not too many leaders apologize. They perceive this behaviors as a weakness.

    If only they realized being apologetic is about being humble and vulnerable. This makes you human.

    Stats show over 70% of workers are not engaged or actively disengaged. Many of these people are looking to jump to another job if they had the chance.

    When you’re human, your team will go through walls to accomplish the goals of the company.

  • http://timmilburn.com Tim Milburn (@timage)

    People tend to accept responsibility for their actions after they’ve been caught. If you watch enough television you can see the pattern.

    1. Accusation.
    2. Deny, deny, deny, deny.
    3. Proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re guilty.
    4. Blame, blame, blame.
    5. The hammer is going to fall hard on you.
    6. Accept responsibility.
    7. Apologize.

    It’s a matter of responsibility, both for the decision and consequence. An apology is a sign that one takes responsibility, even when the decision didn’t turn out as hoped or promised.

    • http://www.switchandshift.com Shawn Murphy

      Tim,
      You raise an interesting point: is an apology born from habitual denial genuine, and, therefore, acceptable? I think the short answer is no. In the pattern you lay out there is some level of awareness of “wrong doing.” A forced apology that shows responsibility on the surface is not the same as one that is genuinely expressed. That’s not to say a forced apology can’t be genuinely expressed. Sometimes our blind spots prevent us from seeing the consequences of our actions on others. But an apology for PR purposes is debilitating for teams, and even organizations.

      It boils down to your concluding words. If those two things happen, taking responsibility for decisions and consequences, then progress has a chance.

  • http://www.thecaremovement.com Al Smith

    Thanks Shawn. two things you said sum it up for me.

    1. It is about Respect

    2. People are worth it.

    thanks again for a great post. I sure hope some Leaders are reading this great content and applying it.

    Al

    • http://www.switchandshift.com Shawn Murphy

      Al,
      You and me both! =)

  • http://www.sdicorp.com/Resources/Blog/tabid/77/articleType/AuthorView/authorID/24/lkunz.aspx Larry Kunz

    Good article, Shawn.

    As an employee, when I hear my boss say that things are going to be different, my response (unspoken) is “Yeah, right. I’ve heard that before.” From my perspective nothing really changes.

    But when my boss says that things are going to be different and accompanies it with an apology, I’m willing to believe him — or at least give him a chance to prove it. I feel like he respects me.

    Bonus points if the apology is specific, referring to a specific action or decision, rather than a vague “I’m sorry that, you know, things are so crappy.”

    • http://www.switchandshift.com Shawn Murphy

      Larry,
      I love how you distinguished when an apology works and when it doesn’t. It’s my hope that managers reading the comments take to heart what you shared. It’s tough for managers (most of us) to slow down long enough to think through the progress possible from an apology that’s not glossed over with generalities.

      So glad you added your perspective.
      Shawn